The Murder of Lydia Blanche Cassady | Part 4 of 4

The Murder of Lydia Blanche Cassady | Part 4 of 4

What do survivors do with all this pain?

Carolyn provides details of just how Lydia died that day based on the autopsy and investigation findings.  

We also learn about powerful solution-based programs like GreenHouse17, where victims not       

And last but not least, we learn about Carolyn’s BHiveStrong movement, raising money for domestic violence programs.

https://bhivesstrong.com/

https://www.facebook.com/BHiveStrong

https://www.instagram.com/b.hivestrong/

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Transcript

00;00;01;02 - 00;00;20;14

Carolyn Hundley

Any friend of mine or anybody that I come in contact with, that I even see the hints of this stuff. And I mean, I'm the first one to say, look, let me tell you where my sister is. She's 5 minutes down the road, six feet under. Don't be like her. Don't be like her. Get out. 

00;00;20;20 - 00;00;39;04

Wendy Lyons

Warning. The podcast you're about to listen to may contain graphic descriptions of violent assaults, murder and adult language. Listener discretion is advised. Welcome to the Murder Police podcast. The murder of Lydia Cassidy, Part four and.

00;00;54;28 - 00;01;18;14

Carolyn Hundley

Cassie kept asking me from the coroner's office. She kept asking me, You know, Carolyn, you know anything about the fingers and her ring fingers and things like that. And I kept going, No. What do you mean? And she's like, Well, her fingers were broken. And so, of course, you know, again, myself, my sister, my niece were all true crime junkies like Dateline I.D. and for years and still.

00;01;19;05 - 00;01;38;03

Carolyn Hundley

And, you know, I just said Toronto, You know, I said, I don't know. I mean, maybe it's something twisted about the fact that she wouldn't marry him, so maybe broke. Yeah. You know, I don't know. And so what ended up coming out of the autopsy when Michael called, you know, Michael, he's Sucher again. Can't say enough about that group.

00;01;38;14 - 00;01;53;05

Carolyn Hundley

But when he called me, he was like, you know, Carolyn, you know, because he asked he said, well, we'll find out kind of everything at this autopsy. You know, it's up to you whether you want to know all of that or has said, absolutely, I want to know. I want to know everything. As much as you can tell me.

00;01;53;21 - 00;02;20;10

Carolyn Hundley

And so I think that night, their bedroom, it was pretty small. And the reason it was so small is they had a huge king sized bed in that room with two big dressers. And so really, from the door to the side of the bed, there was just this little walkway kind of thing, like almost like just a straight path from the door to the wall because and pretty much you almost had to get in on this one side.

00;02;20;10 - 00;02;40;24

Carolyn Hundley

There was very little space on this other side. And so what we think happened to her, based on what the coroner says and kind of where it's at, is he walked into that room and at point blank range, he shot her in the head and she did know it was coming. She was facing him and she was protecting him.

00;02;40;24 - 00;03;12;03

Carolyn Hundley

And that's what caused the broken fingers and her ring to be dismantled. And so basically, she had her hands like this when he shot her in the head. Oh. And so he he had one he did one shot into her head, which killed her, according to them. She then fell on the ground, fell down, fell on her glasses, fell down on the ground, and then he administered a kill shot in the back of her head.

00;03;12;24 - 00;03;31;19

Carolyn Hundley

Wow. And then he just left her again. Yeah. And, you know, you know, again, we watch a lot of true crime. So, you know, when you're so again, when all of this happened, you know, we're having to go to the police station and, you know, this was an active crime scene. So it's like, okay, like we have two children that have all their stuff.

00;03;31;25 - 00;03;53;02

Carolyn Hundley

It's like, what do you do with that? And so once they cleared the crime scene, which wasn't too long, it was probably a day we were able to come back the next day and they had given us approval to they'd given us approval to go there with, I think I can't remember an officer. I don't think Officer Wimmer given us approval to go get the basics.

00;03;53;03 - 00;04;20;15

Carolyn Hundley

Sure. And then they said, well, as soon as we clear this and that, we'll let you come back and get what you need. And so, again, you know, when you're walking in, you know, I just had this my true crime and, you know, hey, there's splatter everywhere, you know, stuff like that. And there wasn't I mean, it was, you know, almost like a flip chart size piece of paper, just saturated of blood on the floor, in the carpet.

00;04;21;14 - 00;04;42;27

Carolyn Hundley

Lydia was also she was on blood thinners because of her heart valve. So, I mean, there was a lot of blood. But, you know, again, it was just kind of confined, confined to one kind of space, which you hate to say that that's a good thing. But it was you know, it's awful. But, you know, I had this vision of, oh, my gosh, it's going to be all right.

00;04;42;27 - 00;04;47;27

Carolyn Hundley

Yeah. And so, I mean, it was horrid, don't get me wrong, but it just wasn't what I was. Yeah.

00;04;47;29 - 00;04;53;21

Wendy Lyons

I think you build yourself up to expect because you see it on the shows, like you say, and you build herself up, that it's going to.

00;04;53;21 - 00;04;54;00

Carolyn Hundley

Be.

00;04;54;11 - 00;05;01;02

Wendy Lyons

Horrendous. And when it's not, you're kind of relieved, but it still is horrendous. Yeah. At least you expected the worst.

00;05;01;04 - 00;05;11;19

David Lyons

And you had that curiosity that comes way too close to home. Yeah, that's the sad thing that yeah, through with Wendy and Angie is that it should never be that way. Yeah, it should never be that.

00;05;11;19 - 00;05;46;28

Carolyn Hundley

Well and you know, and again she well where she died or whatever, you know, you were just like okay you know when you walk out that you just thinking and I had asked of course, you know, asked you know, what she wear like all say you know, and she still had she was she had on now again, they had gone to get the car, the vehicle from the shop and so she still had on though, like again, the timeline for her death was between seven and like ten, ten or midnight.

00;05;47;15 - 00;06;17;29

Carolyn Hundley

And so but she had her tennis shoes still on. She had her jacket on, like and the clothes that she had on were like really frumpy looking clothes, like, almost like bedtime. Kind of like I'm forget I'm like in my laid back. Yeah. Clothes. And all I kept thinking was like she was ready to walk that day. I mean, because again, for her, even at like 8:00, like she would start, I mean, because she got up really early in the mornings.

00;06;18;15 - 00;06;33;04

Carolyn Hundley

So I'm like, this argument never stopped until he shot her. Like, you know. So, you know, I think I think at that point she was ready to go. She wanted to leave.

00;06;33;14 - 00;06;35;01

Wendy Lyons

And maybe even was trying to leave.

00;06;35;01 - 00;06;46;18

Carolyn Hundley

Yeah. And I think even to the point that the kids were like, Dad, just let us leave. Like, you'll still be part of our life. Like, you got to everybody now, say, and just let us go. Yeah, right. Just let us go. And he was going to.

00;06;46;18 - 00;06;57;05

Wendy Lyons

Let it go. No, because even though he had someone else, maybe a few. Someone else's. Yeah. They still want that control of that little bit. They want to give that out.

00;06;57;05 - 00;07;16;09

David Lyons

It, in my opinion, is because you had asked one time and and jeez, did do they plan this and said this before we started. And I really believe that they don't plan the hour of the day but it their capacity is there that even though they won't vocalize it, the people that taking the life of that person is a very real thing.

00;07;16;09 - 00;07;22;19

David Lyons

And so the mental I think they've rehearsed it. It's just when the moment hits, that's what they're so ready to do it And they.

00;07;22;20 - 00;07;23;16

Wendy Lyons

Because they've thought about it.

00;07;23;16 - 00;07;30;28

David Lyons

Before, Oh, that's it. And it becomes just like we're talking about making a rational decision to leave for them. The rational decision is to.

00;07;31;04 - 00;07;46;02

Wendy Lyons

Is to just kill. And you have to wonder if in the back of his mind that whole time when he's headed to Florida or when he leaves out the door after he kills her, does he think he's going to kill himself? Does he know that's his endgame?

00;07;46;12 - 00;07;47;11

David Lyons

I think that that's another.

00;07;47;14 - 00;07;48;17

Wendy Lyons

And I wonder that.

00;07;48;23 - 00;08;10;16

David Lyons

It's either suicide by cop, which is what they were talking about. And then Anthony, I think and just like with Anton, same thing is that that's the next step in that is that there's that for all that for all that macho in that is their extremely coward and they're not going to go to prison over that it I still remember and.

00;08;10;16 - 00;08;12;02

Carolyn Hundley

That's what my husband kept saying was.

00;08;12;15 - 00;08;27;03

David Lyons

Callow and I think Daryl called him right to and it was which snuck up on me when we started doing the podcast a couple of years ago. Is it it made me reflect back on the cases that I'd worked when I did this that you don't think about them in the context of what they are while you're doing them.

00;08;27;03 - 00;08;45;09

David Lyons

And then I stepped back and I'm like, Holy shit, we had way too many domestic violence cases and when you're knee deep in them that it's actually not as material. But I remember having one where a guy was breaking up with a younger girl. She worked at a Chevrolet, I think it was a Chevrolet distributor up on Richmond Road and Lexington.

00;08;45;09 - 00;09;04;13

David Lyons

Yeah, middle of the afternoon and shoots her to death right there at the service counter. Kevin Kelly, a very good friend of mine, was the first one I heard. The guy sled began doing and gave up and we go and he has a tape in his house, these videotapes of smoking a cigaret. And he's saying, Well, if you're watching this, I've already killed myself and I'm very happy with what I did.

00;09;04;13 - 00;09;16;17

David Lyons

Well, he chickened out at the very last night when Kevin got there, and it's led to gone. But it's like they all of that. I guess what I'm getting at is that it's more than capacity. It's planning. Yes. The exact time is. Yeah.

00;09;16;26 - 00;09;44;29

Wendy Lyons

And then you have to wonder, like, if that person who did that, if he's out of jail now. And I think the only in I'm sure for you because it's for me and this is only my personal feeling. I'm so glad that it ended with him the way it did because how horrible would it have been if in ten years, 15, 12 years, seven years, he's out and then you don't have your person back and they're out knowing what they did?

00;09;45;02 - 00;09;50;23

David Lyons

That's a whole nother rabbit. Oh, that is. Yes, that, that's the victimization of the.

00;09;50;28 - 00;09;52;08

Carolyn Hundley

Yes, the family.

00;09;52;08 - 00;10;00;23

David Lyons

Yeah. Speaking of that, moving forward, what have you done to metabolize this? Do are you active in domestic violence prevention or.

00;10;00;24 - 00;10;01;07

Carolyn Hundley

Yeah.

00;10;01;08 - 00;10;02;03

David Lyons

So what you do.

00;10;02;07 - 00;10;34;23

Carolyn Hundley

We've you know, Kathy and I visited one of the domestic violence forms that they did here in Jesmond County. Right. A little while after Lydia had passed. And we also our family kind of started it's called Beehive Strong dot com, and it's a website where the kids have, you know, my niece makes some little rings with some jewels on them, some little stones, and there's some swag items, you know, with that.

00;10;34;23 - 00;10;58;22

Carolyn Hundley

And just really just to honor her and also to talk about domestic violence. So anyone that orders anything from there, we send them a whole domestic violence information and kind of kit, we've also partnered with Green House 17 on that initiative. So everything we sell, 25% of that goes back to them. And then we've just been really trying to be active with some of the Green House 17.

00;10;58;22 - 00;11;19;21

Carolyn Hundley

In fact, we're hoping to get out there in the next couple of weeks. We had a young lady who's donated a quilt. We had another lady out of Boston who has made all of these make up zip bags, little handbags, stuff that you can throw stuff in for the ladies that come to the the shelter as well.

00;11;19;25 - 00;11;37;17

Wendy Lyons

Why don't you tell what green House? Because we know. Yes. Why don't you tell our listeners and Darlene Thomas runs it and she's just wonderful she way why don't you tell what Green House 17 is? Because I know when I first heard it, I thought it's a green house. They must grow things here. And why 17 Yeah. So tell what that is.

00;11;37;17 - 00;12;09;10

Carolyn Hundley

I probably can't do it as good of justice as obviously Darlene can. But their domestic violence shelter at Lexington and they help women get on their feet. They provide housing. They provide. Even if you don't need housing, they'll provide a active list of resources, necessities that you need. They'll work with you with safety plans, which I think, you know, if you're in a situation like my sister was at the time, before she was killed, the safety plan of how to how to exit.

00;12;09;10 - 00;12;35;01

Carolyn Hundley

Yeah, right. Safely. Safely. And I think that's key. Yes, it's huge. But that organization just does so much. They do have greenhouses on the property. I think that's why they. Yes. And I think one of the greatest things, too, is it's just not a hand out. It's a hand up that they give. So when women come and live on the on the property, they actually have jobs.

00;12;35;10 - 00;12;51;07

Carolyn Hundley

You know, they grow their own things. They sell their own stuff on their website. They make soaps. I mean, just all kinds of things that they do there to kind of make and make money to give back, you know, and to provide for. Well, and it.

00;12;51;07 - 00;12;57;05

Wendy Lyons

Probably gives them a sense of I'm doing something. Well, you know, I'm to yes.

00;12;57;13 - 00;13;13;13

David Lyons

Say property this nobody really knows where greenhouse 17 that's rights is that even as a police officer you'll go to your grave with where that location. Yes it's not shared with anybody so that when you take somebody there, you can assure them that nobody is going to get out there and they have really hard rules.

00;13;13;13 - 00;13;20;24

Carolyn Hundley

Well, it's like, yeah, I mean, it's more like a prison visit. But the way it's set up, it's to keep people out, Right?

00;13;20;25 - 00;13;38;03

Wendy Lyons

Because sometimes these women, I can imagine, probably get in there and then they get feeling a little remorseful of maybe I shouldn't have done this, or maybe I really didn't mean it like that. And then you don't want don't call and say, okay, I'll leave and we'll be together again, because Lord knows he he or he's talking it up or whoever their abuser is.

00;13;38;11 - 00;13;42;17

David Lyons

You're coming right back to that whole difficult part about that is the psychological breakdown.

00;13;42;17 - 00;13;43;01

Wendy Lyons

Yes.

00;13;43;16 - 00;14;00;16

David Lyons

In the codependency and the different types. You know, we had John Hamilton with Animal Control just come in and talk about the use of pets as bargaining to empower tools in domestic violence. And Kentucky finally has an EPO section where you can a judge can order.

00;14;00;17 - 00;14;23;15

Carolyn Hundley

And and I think one of the things recently, if I'm correct, that I've seen on greenhouses, they've given the greenhouse 17 a certain amount of those individuals. They've given them the authority to issue out EPO. Now that is yeah, that's full of those that have been kind of deputized. If you are gone through that process, to be able to issue those to get.

00;14;23;15 - 00;14;24;20

David Lyons

Over the barrier of time.

00;14;24;21 - 00;14;26;21

Carolyn Hundley

That's right. And because time is of the essence.

00;14;26;27 - 00;14;41;08

David Lyons

And because courts are not 24/7, you know, to be able to get down and get a worker and see somebody at a window to swear to the affidavit is is a big pain. And yeah and and judges aren't all all the obstacle judges houses at 330 and five in the morning.

00;14;41;21 - 00;14;55;13

Carolyn Hundley

Well and we were in the same situation we had to get an EPO against him when he was on the run. And so I mean it took us a while, you know, and again, Scott County guys were great, but it did does take a lot of time. I mean, yeah.

00;14;55;15 - 00;15;00;14

David Lyons

So just for clarity. B have strong. Yep. B It's.

00;15;00;14 - 00;15;10;08

Carolyn Hundley

You know, it's just it's a bumblebee. Well, it's just B b B the letter bee hive HIV e strong dot com.

00;15;10;08 - 00;15;15;05

Wendy Lyons

I'm glad I should have brought down the bumblebee. Well, sure we got because I have it upstairs.

00;15;15;13 - 00;15;17;22

David Lyons

We'll put what's on the screen for you too.

00;15;17;22 - 00;15;18;15

Wendy Lyons

Yes.

00;15;18;25 - 00;15;22;03

David Lyons

But I just want to direct people to, to go and support that.

00;15;22;03 - 00;15;24;03

Wendy Lyons

Yes. There's shirts, there's.

00;15;24;03 - 00;15;25;27

Carolyn Hundley

Hats, there's little. Yeah.

00;15;25;29 - 00;15;37;21

Wendy Lyons

Bumblebees that are crocheted. Like I said, Jasper, we got when we came, when we came to your house, you wanted one. Yep. I suggest support that organization as well as Green House 17 and wonder since.

00;15;37;21 - 00;15;54;07

David Lyons

We're listened to internationally and it probably most regions have something similar to Greenhouse 17, probably not as many as we'd like. And again, you know, if you're really in a in a pinch with this or you're concerned or you're concerned about a friend, is that I'm going to give the number out one more time.

00;15;54;07 - 00;16;24;06

Wendy Lyons

Yeah, Yeah. I, I will do that if you'd like, sir. I know that you are not alone. You don't have to be a victim. And it's scary to leave. I can't imagine what Lydia and she went through. But find your strength for yourself or your loved ones and get out. If you're a victim of domestic violence or partner violence, reach out to your local police department or the National Domestic Hotline.

00;16;24;15 - 00;16;34;25

Wendy Lyons

One 807 997233. Keep yourself safe. Be your own advocate. Yeah.

00;16;35;04 - 00;17;01;12

Carolyn Hundley

And I would say I would say just another just to add to that is as a family member, look for the signs. Yes, the signs are I mean, it's it's it's really crazy when you look at the signs of when a domestic violence situation is happening, the partner will take them away from the course. Yes, they have. So they'll remove any friends, family, because they want to relieve those barriers.

00;17;01;12 - 00;17;18;01

Carolyn Hundley

So the control factor will happen. You won't have those friends that you always had. You won't be able to go see that family like you always were able to see that. Yes, they will start to determine what you're spending when you're spending, where you're going, what you're doing. They'll want to know where you're at every moment of the day.

00;17;18;12 - 00;17;22;22

Carolyn Hundley

You know, if those things are happening to you, please seek help because.

00;17;22;22 - 00;17;43;10

Wendy Lyons

Yes. And and even down to the phone, you know, I know it first with Angie, when I started seeing the sign, what really stuck out to me was I tried to call her on our morning route like you did Lydia. And the phone kept going to voicemail, and then it would. And I texted her and said, Why aren't you taking my call?

00;17;43;10 - 00;18;05;08

Wendy Lyons

Are you okay? And I think I had that kind of panic because we always talked in the morning and it came on automated thing that said this person has activated the do not Disturb feature while they're while they're in motion driving. And I was like, What? Maybe something's wrong with her phone. So then I knew she'd be at work at a particular time.

00;18;05;08 - 00;18;22;18

Wendy Lyons

So I called and I said, What's wrong with your phone? And she's like, Oh, nothing. He just wants to keep me safe while I'm driving. And he told me that it's best to not text and drive or talk and drive. So I deactivate my phone while I'm driving so nobody can disturb me because he wants to keep me safe.

00;18;22;18 - 00;18;41;18

Wendy Lyons

Girl, this guy loves me. And I said, No, you are a grown woman and you know how to talk. And I mean, I'm not advocating texting and driving, but she it wasn't like she's 16 and we're not going to be safe. Right? And I said, Well, why didn't you take my car? Well, he likes to talk to me in the mornings because, girl, you know, I'm the first thing on his mind.

00;18;41;18 - 00;18;54;19

Wendy Lyons

As soon as we wake up and and I was like, He's taking our morning time. And he don't want her texting because then it's nobody can contact her. So you're right. When those little signs come up.

00;18;54;26 - 00;19;05;06

Carolyn Hundley

Well, and if you're you know, you as an individual, if you're in a situation and you're having to delete your text. Yes. That's not that's not normal. No, that's not.

00;19;05;09 - 00;19;23;15

Wendy Lyons

They're not doing it because they're keeping you safe or they love you don't believe those lies. It's all a method of control. All down to who you're talking to. You know, you had said that how they want to take things away from you, the spinning. You know, she wasn't allowed to go to the gym with me no more.

00;19;23;15 - 00;19;27;07

Wendy Lyons

He put he put gym equipment in so she didn't have to go out.

00;19;27;07 - 00;19;47;08

Carolyn Hundley

Yeah, well, and I mean, you know, anything that I mean, there was nothing in her name because nothing would be in her name because she had no control. She had nothing. I mean, you know, and again, when you're in a relationship and your person's telling you what you're going to spend, when you're going to spend it, how you're going to spend it, when you're making your own money and everything, I mean, it's one thing to have a budget and you're working.

00;19;47;09 - 00;20;06;00

Carolyn Hundley

Yes. And obviously would highly recommend that. But it's different when you're saying you don't have any money. You can't spend any money. I can't go there because kids not give me money. We don't have money for that. Well, what do you mean you don't have money for that? He just bought a, you know, $500 gumball machine at the antique store.

00;20;06;08 - 00;20;09;11

Carolyn Hundley

You know, you do have money. Yes. You know, so.

00;20;09;11 - 00;20;11;20

Wendy Lyons

And he's controlling every bit of it.

00;20;11;20 - 00;20;27;19

Carolyn Hundley

I think any time you're in those situations where they're controlling who you're talking to, how often you're talking to your circle, just remember your circle. That was your circle before you met that person. And if they're not still your circle, there's a problem. Yes, there's a problem in a special said so.

00;20;27;27 - 00;20;46;13

Wendy Lyons

Yes. So please, if you are a victim of domestic or partner violence, please reach out to your local police department or your national domestic violence hotline. Again, that is one 800 7997233. You are not alone. I promise you, there's resources out there. You can do this.

00;20;46;19 - 00;20;47;11

Carolyn Hundley

Absolutely.

00;20;48;01 - 00;20;48;21

David Lyons

Carolyn, thank.

00;20;48;21 - 00;20;51;09

Carolyn Hundley

You. Oh, thank you for having me. I'm very blessed to be here.

00;20;51;09 - 00;21;03;16

David Lyons

And we're we're blessed to have you talk and again, so articulate. Yes. Yeah, that's such a picture of Lydia and and probably going to help a lot of people by letting them see the nuances of what they.

00;21;03;17 - 00;21;17;26

Wendy Lyons

Yes. And also because like you had mentioned before, we've done many domestic violence episodes on our show. You just don't think it can happen to you. You think that's somebody else that's never going to happen to my person. Yeah.

00;21;18;05 - 00;21;34;15

Carolyn Hundley

Well, and I and if, you know, again, I think my husband will probably tell you differently. I mean, even though I knew he was a bad guy, like, I just knew I knew in my heart, like, you got to get out of this. Yes. You know, I just I never thought he would shoot her twice, like right there in the head.

00;21;34;24 - 00;21;54;13

Carolyn Hundley

That was just not something that my mind could rationalize. And but it will. Yes, that's what I tell. You know, any friend of mine or anybody that I come in contact with that I even see the hints of this stuff. And I mean, I'm the first one to say, look, let me tell you where my sister is. She's 5 minutes down the road, six feet under.

00;21;54;13 - 00;22;05;03

Carolyn Hundley

Yes. Now, don't be like her. Get out. Yes, out. Like it's not it's not worth it. No. Get out safely. Get out safely.

00;22;05;05 - 00;22;24;28

Wendy Lyons

Yes. And if your gut is talking to you, you're right. Better listen. You better listen. Well, thank you so much, Caroline, for taking taking the time to come share Lydia's story with us. And thank you so much. I know you wouldn't have it any other way, but for raising her children, I know that they're so lucky to have you and your husband.

00;22;25;10 - 00;22;28;27

Wendy Lyons

And so thank you so much for coming.

00;22;28;27 - 00;22;30;06

Carolyn Hundley

I appreciate being here. Thank you.

00;22;34;07 - 00;22;51;06

Wendy Lyons

If you are a victim of domestic violence or partner violence, please call your local police department or the National Domestic Violence Hotline at one 800 7997233. You are not alone. There are resources available to help you and your family.

00;22;53;12 - 00;23;26;10

David Lyons

The Murder Police podcast is hosted by Wendy and David Lyons and was created to honor the lives of crime victims so their names are never forgotten. It is produced, recorded and edited by David Lyons. The Murder Police podcast can be found on your favorite Apple or Android podcast platform as well as at Murder Police podcast ABC.com, where you will find Shownotes transcripts, information about our presenters and a link to the official Murder Police podcast merch store where you can purchase a huge variety of murder police podcast swag.

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David Lyons

We are also on Facebook, Instagram and YouTube, which is closed captioned for those that are hearing impaired. Just search for the Murder Police podcast and you will find us. If you have enjoyed this podcast, please subscribe for more and give us five stars and a written review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you download.